Sister demands college student pay for mom's vacation with car insurance payout, gets upset when she refuses: 'Just give her the money'

Family helps family, but you can't forget to help yourself as well.

One of the benefits of being close to relatives is that they might help us out when we find ourselves in a difficult spot, financially or otherwise. Most of the time, though, that comes with conditions attached. Nobody wants to give and give until they do not have anything left, nor do they want to feel like they are an easy mark for their most selfish, entitled family members who believe it is their inalienable right to use up all of the resources of those around them.

Ultimately, a judgment call needs to be made when a loved one seeks out some kind of support. Being generous in a way that is going to leave you worse off does not always mean that you will reap a reward later. In particular, when money is tight, priorities have to be carefully thought out. Being financially generous when you can't afford your own necessities is not always the wisest idea. If somebody seeking help can't understand that, it is more of a reflection on them than it is on you. The hardest thing can be holding the line when they get insistent.

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In this story, a woman got annoyed at her sister for demanding that she give away an insurance payout for her mom's benefit. Her mom had hoped to join their grandma on a trip to her home country, as she didn't want to go alone. However, financial obligations meant that she couldn't afford it.
The woman had some money in the bank from an insurance payout after getting into a car accident the previous month. The sister, who had shared the car with her, suggested she give it to their mom for the visit.
She refused, as she had to commute to college and wanted to be able to afford a new vehicle by the time her classes started again. She got heated in defending her position, and worried that she had overreacted to what her sister had said.
Am I wrong for refusing to let my sister use my car insurance payout so our mom can go on vacation with our grandma?

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